Many may think their relationship is “Spiritual,” but let’s check…
Please Note: This “Question Post” is a bit different to most I have done under this category, in that it contains many questions rather than just exploring a single “Power Question.” Let’s dive in…
A Spiritual Relationship is a Heart-Based Relationship, because it is only through the Heart that we can hear the Voice of the Soul, aligned with All Souls, in the great Ocean of Oneness. Therefore, a Heart-Based Relationship is built upon us helping each other become the best, most loving and heart-centred people we can be. For this reason, all relationships are a medium for, or method of, accelerating our evolution – carried forward by the power of Love-Wisdom via the Heart.
Amongst many other signposts, when our relationship is truly Heart-Based, it means…
- We support each other to free ourselves from sensory gratification as a driver within and between us, without neglecting the connection we share.
- We support each other to stop seeking excessive comfort or overindulgence of any kind – we definitely do not support or encourage each other to give in to our weaknesses or lower desires.
- We support each other to be comfortable with the discomfort that accompanies life on the spiritual path.
Therefore, we support each other to grow spiritually – always striving for true balance in all things.
- We support each other to become truly Selfless, embodying the Spirit of Generosity and Goodwill –we orient ourselves to what we can Give, not what we can Get.
- We focus upon what our relationship can bring to the World, to help make it a better place for All, and not just a better life for Ourselves.
- We support each other to give beyond our partnership and immediate family, beyond the groups we align with – religious, political, racial, national – to eventually develop higher group consciousness, leading to a true Oneness with All.
Therefore, we are focused on the quality of what we can create together and share with others, that we could not create apart.
At its foundation, a Heart-Based Relationship is built upon genuine spiritual growth and expanded selfless giving. In fact, all relationships that are truly aligned to Divine Love, are about becoming Beacons of Love in the world, and therefore, embodying the 12 Foundational Qualities of the Heart: Wisdom, Heartfulness or Harmlessness in Action, Benevolence or Goodwill, Inner Silent Stillness, Selflessness, Aspiration, Humility, True Beauty, Golden Balance, Dispassionate Compassion, Inclusive Universality, and Joy.
Heartening Your Relationship
If your relationship is not helping you to grow beyond your limitations, master your weaknesses, or to cultivate greater Love through embodying these 12 qualities, it simply means your relationship is not yet a Heart-Based Relationship.
If you want your relationship to be Heart Based, it is good practice to convert the above bullets to questions that you can use to hold yourselves accountable to the higher spiritual values they point to, and to regularly sit together and ask those and others, like the following:
- Which of the 12 Foundational Qualities of the Heart can we focus on improving together this month?
- How can I better support you, my love, to embody greater Heart Alignment in daily life?
- How can I support you, my beloved, to heal any traumas you are currently attending to?
- What personal limiting qualities do you, my beloved, see in me, that I maybe need support to deal with?
- How can we support each other to reduce or avoid our vices and cultivate virtues, to resist the desire to overindulge, to embody balance in all things, and to fortify our aspiration to live as luminous love in life and the world?
- How can we each become the most authentic versions of ourselves, and therefore, be fully present for each other – without sacrificing presence to all other people in our lives?
If you are living at First World Standards and are accustomed to all the privilege that comes with this, you may wish to add the following:
- How can we reduce our desire for First World comfort levels, and instead cultivate living within the resources of the earth – or Second World standards? What changes can we make to achieve this?
- In what areas of our lives could we become more frugal and live more simply?
- Where can we together reduce our ecological footprint and impact on the world, in ways we could not do when we were alone?
- What problem or suffering do we see in the world, which we feel we can contribute to helping free people from?
And after all of these, you could finish with inspiring questions like these:
- As the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, what greater wondrous beauty, what of true lasting value, can we create together and give to the world, through fusing our skills, presence, and beingness?
- What is best Beacon of Love we can be in daily life?
- What is the Greatest Vision of Collective Joy we can imagine for the world, and which other people can we align with to create it?
Some of these questions are such that you might only sit with them once, or for a short period, but others you may need to sit with weekly, monthly, or whenever the need reveals itself.
Of course, you can also write your own questions, aligned towards greater heart embodiment, personal growth, and genuinely being there for each other and the greater world.
A Shortened Checklist
In short…
There are three aspects that need to be present for a relationship to be “spiritual.”
- That the partners are supporting each other to control and eventually master all aspects of their personality selves, thus, opening the way to greater alignment to and embodiment of their higher selves – as opposed to supporting each other to align even more with matter and materialism. This manifests as aligning every aspect of our lower selves and our relationship to the Heart. For it is through the Heart that we can hear the Voice of the Soul, aligned with All Souls.
- That the partners are not excessively self-focused, either individually or within their family unit alone, but open to supporting each other in a shared creation, to help make the world a better place. Shared Selfless Service is ever the hallmark of genuinely spiritually awakened and embodied people!
- That the partners are not enabling spiritual escapism or bypassing in each other, and are instead, striving to embody all their higher values and spiritual principles. That they are actively questioning all aspects of their daily lives and the choices they make, and therefore, are rooting out all maya, glamour, and illusion-empowered excuses and behaviours – every aspect of life not aligned to the Heart and the Greatest Good For All.
If these three aspects are lacking, so too is any genuine spiritual or heart-based dimension to a relationship.
Note: While there is profound value in all I have shared above, the topic of Heart-Based Relations is vast, and I am only touching on a small aspect related to those who identify as “spiritual,” and even here, the above is far from comprehensive!
That said, it is my hope that I have inspired you to consider any relationships, platonic or intimate, as doorways to spiritual embodiment, selfless service, and greater Love-Wisdom – rather than avenues for supporting greater self-indulgence, sensory gratification, consumerist materialism, and justifying excuses that only create stagnation, losing ground on the path, or opening the door to empowered darkness or evil!
To All We Can Be and Bring
Azure Seer