Gem – On Narcissism and Victims

For those who label others as Narcissists, and judge them as bad, toxic, or evil people…

Before we dive in, I want to acknowledge that this topic may be challenging for some to consider, let alone read about. Many are the folk on earth who are suffering within and without, and many are those who need deep healing, especially at the mental and emotional levels. And the need for a sane voice in this field is great indeed. I hope the following short exploration offers some insights that will lead all people to wholeness.

Ok, let’s plunge straight in the deep end!

Never has the following statement been truer than now: “We see in others what we most need to see in ourselves!”
“But wait, they’re the narcissist, not me!”, many may indignantly shriek.
The failure here is in not seeing that the mirror at play is a Mirror of Like-Kinds, rather than a direct reflection of Likeness.

People with victim consciousness attract people with perpetrator consciousness, just assuredly as the reverse. They are like North and South poles of a magnet. Each may embody and demonstrate different behaviours, but they are like-kinds. Two ends of the one dipole. Both need to do serious deep self-work, both need to stop judging the other, and both need healing and love.

Note: I am not excusing bad behaviour nor “victim-blaming,” but, if someone has drawn a narcissistic person into their life, they must take responsibility for their end of the dipole of attraction, just as much as the perpetrator – victims are not absolved from all responsibility. All relationships are a co-creation. Clearly, I am not speaking here about random assaults, but those dynamics where a victimised person chooses to be in some sort of relationship with an abusive person.

The Actions to Create Balance and Healing

If we do not love those considered most broken, most acting out, how will they ever learn love and finally heal?! And I mean this for both those running victim scripts and those running perpetrator scripts.

The current witch-hunt against those whose pain demonstrates as narcissism is ugly, and truly is a projection from the self-righteous victim-script person. It is another perfect example of “two wrongs do not make a right.” The behaviour is one of acting from suffering rather than Love, which is an incorrect and truly unhelpful reaction.

We should never respond to an attack with more attack – and judgment and rejection is definitely an attack! Certainly, we must make choices to keep ourselves safe, and sometimes this will mean loving from a distance, but we must never embody the “ugly” we are judging in another – not even in opposing like-kinds. If we find we are running victim scripts, we must seek and claim our inner power, and if we find we are causing harm through running a perpetrator script, and we genuinely want to be a better person, we must also seek our inner power, for a desire to exert power over others is always an acting out of not feeling our power within. Both behaviours are due to lack of a healthy inner state, and both require acceptance, belonging, and self-love.

Instead of judgment of personal lack, we must forgive all others and ourselves and strive to embody Wise Lovingkindness at all times – Shining Love, like the Sun Shines Life – indiscriminately and equally upon all!

Love to All People – the broken and acting out especially.
Azure Seer